Anyways, so I stayed up for the rest of the night, just to make sure that the ear didn't become exposed again (she made it sound like he had pulled it off while he was asleep, which is not possible because he knew how important it was, in fact, everytime anyone touched near that ear at all, even in the deepest sleep, he would wake up; so I feel that this just was not possible!). Well, that made for a very long night. :( The next morning, Dr. H. looked at the ear before he took Caleb into surgery and wouldn't you know, that edge cartilage was exposed with no flap on it. :( I was so devastated I can't even begin to tell. *sigh* He told me he would do what he could, and we would go from there.

So we did surgery 4, me in our room trying desperately to hold my emotions under control, and failing miserably. I wanted Ross there, I wanted my mom there, I was having the worst time at this point. I just knew that we had just wasted the last 3 weeks and that we were losing the ear. It was so hard not to blame that night nurse. Needless to say, that was one of the lowest points I had been at through this time. :( In fact, only 2 times in that 3 - 1/2 weeks did I get to that point, the rest of the time, I was like Caleb's biggest cheerleader and keeping everyone else optimistic.

Dr. H. came out of surgery and came to the room to tell me how things had gone. He had re-covered that edge cartilage, we had lost more flap down at the bottom of the ear (just below the ear canal), and that he had done all he could and all we could do now is pray. And believe me, we have prayed and prayed and prayed some more since!!!!! He let us come home 2 days later, and that was just the beginning! LOL

A week and a half later, we had to go back for a normal check up to see how things were going. It looked bad, real bad. The edge cartilage was exposed again, and the bottom part of the ear had lost all of the skin & flap again. So we only had about 1/3 of this new ear taken care of (and it didn't look very good either). The Dr told us that we could email him pictures and he would keep an eye on things from there. That way we wouldn't have to continue driving back and forth (as this is a 6 hr round trip for us). He also decided that Caleb had built up an allergy to the bacitracin (neosporin) we were using (which was causing us to lose the skin and blood supply), so he switched us to bactroban (thank God for insurance b/c that stuff is expensive!!!!!).

Since then, the ear has been healing up very nicely! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!! It has been a battle, one day it will look good, the next day it doesn't look so good. Right now, we have about 1/2 inch long piece of the edge cartilage left to be covered with blood supply and skin (the blood supply & skin are *growing* over the part we lost slowly but surely!! we have been truly blessed!).

So that is where we are right now. Still waiting for that cartilage to be covered up. For 6 weeks, I have been dressing and redressing Caleb's ear, and to say that I get emotionally drained once in a while would be the understatement of the year!!! Eleven weeks ago, I thought we would go to the hospital, have our surgery, and come home 3 days later with a new ear. Oh to be so naive again. :(

We still have at LEAST 3 to 4 more surgeries to go AFTER this part of it heals up. Which will take up a good part of another year. What we thought was going to be the end of all this has turned out to be the beginning again. *sigh* We are making it, and will continue to do so! :) Above all, we have our faith, we have each other, AND it is just an ear. Thank God, it is just an ear! If you ever get to the point you feel you don't want to go on, go to a Children's Hospital and look around. Some of those children have faced more in their young age than most of us adults will face in our lifetime. It was a huge wake up call to me. Thank God it is just an ear!!!

I will update this more as we go on. One thing that has been asked of us over and over again (mostly by family), is 'Why are you all putting Caleb through all of this? He was just fine without his ear, we loved him just the way he was! Why are you putting him through all of this?'. Can I just say this... Caleb is 7 years old. Right now, not having an ear doesn't mean much, but when he becomes an adult, he will have to get a job to make a living. Whether we like to admit it or not, everyone notices our appearance, and not having that ear could make the difference between a good paying job, and a barely making it kind of a job. Also, we had to try. At least now, no matter what, we can tell Caleb that we did try. You know? He can't come to us 30 years from now and say, 'Why didn't you at least try to get my ear rebuilt when I was little?'. We have done our best, and we have tried. Thank God for my trooper, Caleb Joel! He has been just awesome through this, and I cannot express how proud Ross & I are of him! :)

Just a small update. On Nov. 4th, 2003, we lost the exposed cartilage that we were trying so desperately to save. To say that we were upset would be a gross understatement. :(